On Thursday, May 3 my youngest daughter turned 1-years-old. And just like that, an entire first year of life was wrapped up, a monumental milestone - especially with your last child.
I am a big fan of the first year of life. I love experiencing childbirth, and those hazy first few weeks postpartum, when each day melts into each other in a fog of nursing, sleeping, and getting to know your new child.
For Eloise this first year has been different, because I have had to really slow down my pace of life to pay attention to the tiny details. With two older sisters grabbing for attention at every moment, it would have been easy to forget to savour and delight in Eloise’s first year. But, knowing how important babyhood is to me, I have been extra attentive with her.
The first few weeks of life with Eloise were beautiful and difficult, all at once. We went through a tough time when she wouldn’t gain weight, and everything became harder with pumping, and dozens of appointments in a month. She was diagnosed with a benign heart condition, but the weeks leading up to the diagnosis were a flurry of stress and “what ifs”?
As her health improved we were able to really sit and get to know our daughter. We’ve learned that she’s social and loves to be around people, but is truly attached to those that she is most comfortable with, especially me. She’s spent many nights sleeping next to me, because as much as I would love a good night’s sleep, I would rather feel her warmth beside me and keep her close to me for as long as I can.
She has the most beautiful red hair, it goes curly when it’s wet, and is long and wild all day long. Her eyelashes soar, and her eyes are a bright blue. She has a petite frame and is often mistaken for being younger than she is.
She’s used to being tousled and trampled by her sisters, something I have tried my very best to protect her from. I’ll never forget the moment I came out of the washroom to find our middle daughter dragging her around by her arm, while she lay back, enjoying the ride. She’s learn to stick up for herself, dragging a golden lock of hair and tugging, or taking a big swipe at her sister when her protests are not being heard. I try to hide my smile, but I must admit I love seeing my youngest become a little fighter.
It’s been hard for me to see this year wrap up. It means the end of an era for me. For the last six years I have been mother to babies in my belly, or on my hip, or future babies in my heart. Now the dream of future babies is gone.
Now, I’m left with three beautiful little, growing girls. Each one with their own unique personality, and each one with their own special spot in my heart. It’s sad that my cherubic littlest baby is growing so quickly, but it’s exciting to watch her make her own place in this world.
My sweet Eloise, or Ella Bella (as we call you), I can’t wait to see who you grow up to be, and to guide you as best as I can. It has been an honour to have you in our world this last year, and I’m thrilled that we get to make a lifetime of memories with you.
