November marks Children’s Grief Awareness Month across Canada. It’s a time devoted to educating, advocating for, and supporting the needs of grieving children, teenagers and their families. Grieving children and youth are often the ‘forgotten mourners,’ when a significant person in their life dies—so it’s important to let them know we’re here for them.
Understanding how grief affects children and teenagers differently—and how you can support them through it—can make a world of difference during this challenging time.
Why Grief Looks Different For Children & Teenagers
Grief is a universal experience, but children and adults often experience and express it in very different ways. Although kids and teens may feel the loss just as deeply as adults, their understanding of and reaction to grief can vary significantly due to their developmental stage. Grief in young people can manifest in ways that are not always easy to recognize. A child’s reaction to loss might not be as outwardly visible or consistent as that of an adult. Instead, it might come in waves, shifting between moments of sadness, anger, confusion, and even reprieve.
Children and teens also may have a more limited vocabulary when it comes to expressing their emotions, which means they might act out or withdraw when they are feeling overwhelmed. Their grief may appear intermittent, and it can be difficult for parents or caregivers to know how best to support them when it seems like they’re moving through their grief in fits and starts.
How to Support a Grieving Child or Teen
During Children’s Grief Awareness Month, it’s vital to shine a light on how we can better support young people who are grieving. The following tips can help guide parents, caregivers, professional and other adults who are in a position to support a grieving child or teenager:
1. Be Present and Listen
One of the most important things you can do for a grieving child or teen is simply to be there. Grief can feel isolating, and many children and teens may struggle to express their emotions. Creating a safe space for them to talk—or not talk—can make all the difference.
If they do want to talk, make sure to listen attentively and without judgment. Avoid offering quick fixes or platitudes, such as “They’re in a better place” or “Time will heal all wounds.” Instead, validate their feelings with phrases like, “I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you” or “It’s okay to feel however you’re feeling right now.”
2. Encourage Them to Express Their Emotions
While children and teens may not always have the words to articulate their feelings, they often express their grief through actions, behaviors, or creative outlets. Encourage them to engage in activities that help them process their emotions. Drawing, writing, or playing music can be powerful ways for young people to release their grief. Older teens may prefer journaling or talking to friends or a trusted adult outside the family. For younger children, you might suggest they create a memory box or scrapbook to help them preserve their thoughts and memories of the person they’ve lost.
3. Provide Routine and Stability
Grieving children need stability and reassurance, especially when their world has been disrupted by loss. Maintain routines and ensure that the child feels a sense of normalcy amid the chaos of grief. Children often feel safest when they know what to expect, so keeping regular mealtimes, bedtimes, and school schedules can provide comfort. It’s also essential to offer gentle reassurance. Remind the grieving child or teen in your life that it's okay to feel sad, and that healing takes time.
4. Recognize When They Need Professional Support
For many, grief has the power to change who they are, and for significant losses, it also has the enduring power to last forever. Sometimes children and teens need additional support beyond what family and friends can offer. If a child’s grief is interfering with their daily life, school performance, or physical health, or if they’re showing signs of depression or anxiety, it may be time to seek professional help.
The Nightingale Centre offers specialized grief support for children and families, where grieving children can connect with others who understand their experiences. These programs and services teach children and youth the tools they need to cope with their grief in healthy ways—and offer a sense of community where they can feel less isolated.
5. Remember That Grief is Unique and Cyclical to Each Person
Grief doesn’t follow a linear path, and every child and teen will experience it in their own way. For both adults and children, it is normal to move between intense grieving and times of reprieve. However, children may swing back and forth quicker and ‘jump’ in and out of their grief more frequently. Grief is a cyclical experience for children, and growing up with loss means that they may grieve multiple times throughout different developmental stages. It’s most important to remember that no matter the age or developmental stage of a grieving individual, everyone grieves differently and there is no wrong or right way to do so.
Why Raising Awareness Matters: #BeTheHope This November
At The Nightingale Centre, our vision is a community where no child or family grieves alone. But until we can do that, we need donors and supporters like you to Be The Hope for grieving children and families today.
1 in 14 children will experience the death of a parent or sibling by the time they turn 18. By raising awareness about the unique challenges grieving children and teens face, we can help reduce stigma and encourage more compassionate, informed responses from parents and caregivers, professionals, and communities. This November, show your support to the almost 4,000 children & youth who are grieving in Guelph-Wellington.
For more information on programs and resources that can help grieving children and families, learn more about The Nightingale Centre here, email [email protected] or call 519-265-9594.