When Kathleen Gilchrist lost her son Jeremy to an accidental drug overdose in July 2022 her world was shattered.
Kathleen says, “Jeremy was an earth angel, he was an old soul who had the biggest heart. Even though he was going through a difficult time before he passed, Jeremy was always there to help if someone needed them.” Jeremy is missed by his large family. He was the fun uncle that his nephews called “Funcle Bear.”
Knowing that she needed support, Kathleen reached out for grief counselling, but it wasn’t until she turned to her friend Elizabeth Lengyel, the Program Director at Griefwalk in Guelph that she found the support that she needed to begin to heal. Kathleen says, “Griefwalk was the best counselling service available to me. Elizabeth and her team approach grieving individuals with compassion and empathy. Often those experiencing grief need someone to listen to them. We need to tell our story.” At Griefwalk individuals can share the stories of their loved ones in a safe place.
Kathleen, who is now a facilitator adds, “Griefwalk helped me get through this difficult journey. Helping others get through their grief journey not only helps me, but I’m helping them in return.” Kathleen is moving forward. She established a memorial bench in Jeremy’s memory in Port Rowan where the family often goes to remember and celebrate Jeremy’s life.
You alone can do it, but you can’t do it alone
Griefwalk, a non-profit charity supported by Lakeside Church in Guelph helps individuals walk through life’s loss. Griefwalk was launched 14 years ago out of a desire to care for the broken-hearted. Program Director, Elizabeth Lengyel says, “Our organization offers a safe place to find understanding, hope, care, and compassion on grief’s journey. Through our support groups, we help individuals struggling with sorrow navigate the challenges that accompany grief.”
Grief is a difficult journey. Elizabeth adds, “People receive comfort from sharing stories with others and knowing that they are not alone. As they walk through their grief journey, I believe people need support. Griefwalk can help anyone regardless of their circumstances.” Loss is not always losing a loved one; it could be the loss of a home, a job, or stability in their lives. Mourning is a natural expression of grief and Griefwalk can help guide individuals through this process.
Irene’s Story
Irene Fitzpatrick lost her parents Tom and Lynda Frangos within a year of each other. In 2017 her father, was expecting to come home from the hospital when he died suddenly at the age of 79. Two months later, her mother was deemed palliative and passed shortly after that. Irene says, “I didn’t have time to grieve for my father because I was concerned about my mother. We were very close and when she passed, I was not expecting the depth of grief that I experienced. Suddenly, I’m grieving both parents.”
Irene’s parents, who were married 53 years, believed in showing compassion to the less fortunate. Irene says, “My father would go downtown and find someone who he felt was hungry or living on the street and phone mom and say we’re having a guest for supper. We had a stranger at the dinner table at least 5 times a week. My heart still aches. I miss them. I look at their picture every day.”
Finding it difficult to move forward, a friend suggested she connect with Griefwalk. Irene says she feels like Griefwalk saved her life. “We all expect to lose our parents, but the depth of loss was unbelievable. Being around people experiencing the same kind of loss gave me support. I felt I could finally start to breathe again. There were moments of laughter, we journeyed together, it’s an amazing program.” Irene is a Griefwalk volunteer who facilitates three different support groups, including “Pet Loss” and a faith-based program called “Stepping Stones.”
Colleen’s Story
In January 2020, Colleen Alberts’ husband Hank was preparing to be discharged from hospital following a successful surgical procedure. Colleen says, “I spoke to him that morning and then got a call 10 minutes later telling me to get to the hospital as soon as possible. Hank died from a massive heart attack, likely caused by formation of blood clots.” Colleen was in shock. She never expected to lose her husband at the age of 65. They were making retirement plans together.
Colleen attended Lakeside Church in Guelph and was aware of the Griefwalk program, but she never expected to need their support. She was the only one in her family and circle of friends who lost a spouse. Colleen says, “It’s an isolating experience, but in Griefwalk I was with others who were dealing with similar loss. We had a common bond, we understood each other, and we could share things were going through. It was comforting knowing that we will get through this. It’s going to be a life journey and our grief is going to be woven into our lives.”
Colleen is also a facilitator who supports individuals who have lost a spouse. She says, “I find that very healing because I see where they are. And I see where I was and how far I’ve come. Having someone who has had the same journey gives them hope.”
Richard’s Story
Richard de Jong proposed to his wife Rekha on her 50th birthday. Within a year Rekha died of a massive heart attack at their home. Richard, who was in shock went back to work immediately, but he wasn’t dealing with his grief. Deep down Richard knew his heart was broken and he was not healing.
He searched for grief support groups and found Griefwalk. Richard felt connected to Griefwalk at his first meeting. He says, “As a man, you’re reluctant to show your emotions. I knew that being in a group setting would be good for me because it was a group of individuals who lost family members. I had a connection with everyone and realized that grief can come in many forms.”
Griefwalk was a safe place for Richard to share his feelings. He says, “The facilitators, who have gone through grief themselves, shared their stories which made me feel comfortable immediately. They also created a safe space to let people talk. In one session we brought something from our loved one and talked about our loved one which challenged me to confront my grief. I would recommend Griefwalk to others to help them feel that they are not alone.”
Having Rekha taken so suddenly has left a void in Richard’s life but just being able to speak about Rekha is a huge step forward.
Amy’s Story
Amy Jessop has dealt with several losses in her life, but the most devastating was the death of her husband Andrew to suicide in 2016. Andrew was suffering with mental illness, but it was difficult for Amy to recognize it at the time because she was so close to the situation. Amy says, “When Andrew died, I was not only emotionally bankrupt, I was also left financially bankrupt.”
Their son was 7 years old at the time. Because of a threatened foreclosure, Amy was forced to sell the house. Amy says, “I lost my husband, I lost my house, including the recreational property and vehicles. I moved in with family for a few months to figure out my next steps financially. When people lose loved ones to suicide or drug overdose, it can divide families. My husband’s death has been a huge loss that has impacted me in many ways.”
Amy was introduced to Elizabeth who brought her into the Griefwalk support group. Amy says, “I’ve been through other grief counselling services, but Griefwalk offers connection with others who have shared experiences walking alongside them.” Amy took courses to understand mental health issues and is now co-facilitating the suicide bereavement group. She says, Griefwalk is a welcoming, caring, compassionate, and positive environment. It’s given me hope, friendship, and a foundation, especially in sharing with others that have experienced loss. I continue to learn and heal at every session. I receive hope and I give hope. I wouldn’t have this strength if I didn’t meet Elizabeth and connect with Griefwalk.”
With the exception of Healing with Horses, Griefwalk support groups are free to anyone experiencing a loss. For more information visit them online.
To continue offering help, hope, and healing to those experiencing loss Griefwalk relies on financial support from the community.
Their largest fundraiser is the Golf for Griefwalk Tournament on September 6th, 2024. For more information on the tournament visit their website.
