People who care about the well-being of others are naturally sexier.
That’s the finding of research conducted in partnership between the University of Guelph and Nipissing University in North Bay. There is something sexually attractive about people who are more selfless than selfish. Selfless, altruistic people are more desirable, have a higher number of intimate partners, and more sex.
A study based on the research was published recently in the British Journal of Psychology. It demonstrates that altruism may translate directly into mating success in Western populations, and that the altruistic have more mates than those who are self-absorbed, according to Pat Barclay, a U of G psychology professor. The lead author of the study was Steven Arnocky, a Nipissing professor in psychology.
“Altruistic acts are a signal of your future actions,” Barclay said in an email. He is currently in the UK. “People who are generous now are likely to be kind and generous in the future, so it pays to watch for that in a partner.”
He said women tend to respond to the kind factor more than men because women need niceness in a partner more than men do.
“There are plenty of jerks out there who don't really care, and while there are jerks of both sexes, women need to watch out for this more for several reasons,” he said.
Among those reasons are the risk of exploitation, being abandoned with a small child, and the threat of physical harm.
Barclay was asked if the pretense of selflessness is used for selfish sexual reasons.
“Guys have tried just about everything to get laid,” he said. “Sometimes it even works. Sometimes false niceness gets discovered. So while choosing a partner based on their altruism might be a good strategy on average, there are no guarantees in life, so it's best to use multiple criteria when choosing mates.”
Deceivers tend not to be able to maintain their deception over a long period. Phony selflessness is soon discovered, while true selflessness is rewarded, in and out of the bedroom.
The research comes with somewhat of a disclaimer. It does not condone the use of altruism to get sex.
There are potentially positive societal benefits from the findings.
“If we can discover any benefits of being generous, then we can potentially harness that to get people to be more generous,” Barclay wrote in the email. “My other work focuses on getting people to compete to be more generous than others, something that fundraisers try to do all the time.”
He said theory can be used to understand when generosity will be genuine versus when it will be deceptive or manipulative. That can help people protect themselves against manipulation, he said.
The study is the first to show that altruism may actually translate into mating success. According to the findings, it appears that caring about the welfare of others evolved in the human species, partly because it is a sign of other underlying good qualities that encourage reproduction.
The research asked about 800 people about their relationship history and propensity for helping others, whether through charitable giving, helping strangers cross the street, and other acts.
Alas, altruists were found to have greater success at dating and sex, especially for male altruists. But both men and women are more attracted to people who are altruistic.
