This article was previously published on GuephToday.
One Guelph woman is on a mission to combat loneliness in the community by bringing women together, one friendship at a time.
At 45, divorced with two kids and no family nearby, Ella Baker found herself feeling lonely.
Sure, she’d made some friends over the years since moving here, but none who understood what it felt like to go through a divorce.
With not many local events or groups aimed at her demographic, over the summer she decided to start her own Facebook group focused on women making friends in the east end.
She’s since expanded the group to all of Guelph, calling it “Connecting Women of Guelph.” It has 70 members and counting.
The group is for any woman who needs some companionship – whether you’re a newcomer, a mom, newly divorced, or have lived here all your life.
“I set the group up for two reasons. One was for me to find other women and form friendships. I also thought, I can’t be the only person in the world that feels that way. And even if you are from Guelph, even if you have family here, some people still feel alone.”
She hopes everyone can get to know each other in smaller group outings, and that even just a few people make a long-term connection.
Baker has made her own friends in the group so far, who she sees outside of group outings and speaks to every week.
“We have our own little group chat now, It’s all developed in the last three months,” she said.
She’s hosted three events so far, one at Wild Wing, another at Cox Creek Cellars for yoga and wine, and the third at Bev’s in the Ward.
“If I get just two women to meet and form a friendship, then it will be an absolute success,” she said.
“All I want to do is help people connect. And if they are feeling lonely, just to know that they’re not alone.”
Baker is originally from England, and left her family behind when she moved to Toronto (and eventually Guelph) to live with her now ex-husband. Though she’s lived here for years, she felt she never gave Guelph an honest shot, and found herself still longing for her past life across the pond.
That yearning only worsened after her divorce, as her kids grew older and closer to flying the nest.
“I’ve had Christmas dinner by myself because my children were with their dad. I know what it feels like. I just don’t want anyone else to feel that,” she said.
“When my children were younger, I felt like I completely lost who I was, like I didn’t even have an identity,” she said, adding it’s something she finds happens to women often.
“My husband was my crutch and now I’m standing here alone, and it’s time that I make my own community.”
But forming relationships as you get older is hard, she said, and often drops to the bottom of the to-do list for women, especially moms.
“Women, often their lives take a back seat. I think they put their families first. They know the friend side is important, but unfortunately, it falls to the wayside.”
In her view, friendships are one of the most important relationships you can have, and since making friends through the group, she’s begun to feel more like herself than ever.
“I’m not just a mother, I’m not just a wife. I’m me.”
The group's next event is on Dec. 18. You can learn more about it here.
