‘I’ll be Home for Christmas’ might be blasting on the radio this time of year, but the song won’t hold true for a number of Guelph families spending the holidays in the shelter system.
Ewelina Tysiac, her partner and three kids are among them.
The area has seen a sharp increase of families experiencing homelessness in the past two years, with 2023 seeing an average of 20 families experiencing homelessness, up from four in 2022.
That number has only continued to grow. Before, at any given time there might have been two to four families in the shelter. Now that number sits between 10 and 14.
In response, last year Stepping Stone re-opened two former shelter locations – one on Highway 6 and the other Waterloo Avenue. While Highway 6 location was intended to be a substance-free men’s shelter, both are currently being used as family shelters, where Tysiac, her partner and three kids are staying.
She said it’s hard being in the shelter with three kids ages 18, three and 18 months, but especially for her three-year-old son, who is on the autism spectrum and can get easily overwhelmed by too much noise.
“When most of the kids come home from school, they have a lot of energy, and the place gets really loud. Then you’ll see my son disappearing into the staff office or upstairs,” she said.
Her 18-year-old daughter is struggling in the communal environment as well, and has started getting pseudo seizures, non-epileptic seizures often caused by mental stress.
Trying to maintain a routine with kids in the shelter environment is next to impossible, too, she said, since all the spaces are shared.
“You might want to get your kids into the bath at seven o’clock but by that time, there’s no hot water,” she said.
Over the summer, her family left their home of four years after increasingly feeling unsafe in a situation with a landlord she says was harassing her and causing a great deal of stress and anxiety.
They moved into a hotel where they stayed for about two months before moving into the family shelter on Highway 6, and later the Waterloo Avenue location.
They have capacity for six and five families, respectively. When there is overflow, families will be diverted to 128 Norfolk until space opens at the family shelters.
Before the two locations re-opened a year ago, families would stay at the former Holiday Inn-turned shelter (which has now moved to the former Norfolk Manor), but part-time shelter staff Erin Harvey said it wasn’t a great location for kids as they would be around people struggling with substance use and mental health.
“So that was a very deliberate choice to separate the families,” she said.
When the shelters are at capacity, families are diverted to 128 Norfolk until more space becomes available; she emphasized they would never go to the emergency shelter at 23 Gordon St.
“The rooms are just regular bedrooms in a regular house. They have a small fridge. Most of the rooms are large enough for two bunk beds with doubles on the bottom and singles on the top. So a family of six in one room sounds overwhelming, but they do it. It’s a place for them to sleep, it’s a private space,” she said.
Families with more than six people will sometimes be given two rooms or additional mattresses for the floor.
“It’s not ideal, but it (works) in a pinch,” she said.
Tysiac’s family sleeps in a room with three single beds, shared between herself, her partner, her 18-year-old daughter and her three-year-old son. Her 18-month-old daughter sleeps on a mattress on the floor protected by a playpen.
Families can’t bring all their belongings since there is limited space, but their rooms have shelving for clothing and essentials.
At the Waterloo Avenue site, there is a shared kitchen and a common area with a TV and toys for the kids, as well as shared laundry.
Though it’s been a difficult transition, Tysiac said she feels safe and thoroughly supported at the shelter.
“I feel very supported. I’m not at risk of being outside no matter what.”
She said the children feel comfortable with staff, often colouring next to them. One staff member sews and will tend to any rips or holes that need mending. Tysiac, who loves to cook and grow her own food, has even organized pizza nights, making homemade pizza for staff and residents.
“I’ve been very impressed by how much of a community forms and how parents help each other, help each other’s kids, build relationships with each other,” Harvey said.
“It’s never an ideal place for a family to be. But given that it’s a shelter space, it’s very warm and welcoming and caring.
“When people are having a hard time or not feeling great, there’s staff there that can support them,” Tysiac continued. There are two staff members on site at any given time.
Harvey is a recently retired social worker who works part-time at the shelters to make sure families and their children feel supported.
In her own situation, Harvey is also helping navigate the childcare system as Tysiac is unable to work until she can find childcare, which has proven difficult so far.
“We’ve been trying to get him in daycare since he was one,” she said.
“Having (Erin) be the family liaison or whatever you call it, it’s crucial. She’s been my defender, through and through,” she said, from working to find childcare to helping staff and other residents better understand her son or leave him be if they aren’t familiar with autism and don’t understand his behaviour.
Struggles to find housing
A housing diversion worker also comes by regularly to assist residents in talking to landlords, applying for places and going to viewings.
“The housing guy here is very good. I’ve been told he makes magic, and I’ve seen him do magic,” she said, adding he’s trying to “make magic” for them too but “can only do so much.”
As of Dec. 20, Harvey said there were 31 families housed in 2024, making up a total of 106 people. Of those 106 people, 37 who were precariously housed were helped to find housing without needing the shelter, and 69 were housed after coming to the shelter.
Though they don’t have exact data, Harvey said most families are housed within three months.
“The housing worker has been doing a great job at getting these families housed,” she said.
“They really bend over backwards to get these families what they need, to make sure they get housed and get support in the shelter, then also trying to make sure the supports are in place for when they get housed.”
One hundred per cent of the families housed this year have remained housed.
Tysiac is hopeful they’ll be next, keeping her fingers crossed for a Jan. 1 lease.
But it’s been a struggle, with increasingly “picky” landlords, especially given their circumstances as a family of five with a dog.
One place they almost had wanted a co-signer who makes more than $4,000 a month. She had three cosigners, but none made that much, and the landlord turned her down.
“We’re even offering more money to see if that will entice them,” she said.
The only landlords seemingly willing to say 'yes' are ones offering places she doesn’t feel safe or comfortable in – under active construction, mould or roach-infested.
“I had one landlord offer me a place, but (said) I had to kick out my 18-year-old daughter within four months of her birthday,” she said. “I’m not gonna kick my teenager out knowing she’s not ready.”
They’re also competing with university students for housing.
“As soon as I saw a family of five, they’re like, oh, our thing is students first.”
They’re looking for a three-bedroom right now but are approved for a four-bedroom from county housing; she’s been on the waiting list for four years.
But they have a few prospects and are hoping they’ll find a place for Jan. 1. Once they move, she’s hoping she can get her kids into daycare and go back to work.
They have first and last months rent and moving expenses to cover everything, they just need someone to say yes.
“That’s the problem, is landlords just willing to say yes. That’s what I’m waiting for, is just someone to say yes.”
A new shelter system
In the meantime, Tysiac said she’s been surprised by the way the shelters operate.
She has been through both the shelter and foster system before. Based on her previous experience, she thought she and her family would be separated and surrounded by substance use when they arrived.
“The whole system was different,” she said.
The shelter at 23 Gordon was started by Sister Christine Leyser over 30 years ago. After her retirement in 2016, the shelter was temporarily closed to examine how it was operating. In 2021, the organization changed its name to Stepping Stone to “better align with our mandate to address homelessness.”
Since then a myriad of changes have taken place, many of which Tysiac said are more realistic.
“The old system, they’d separate you. Guys would go to the Highway 6 house, women would stay with the kids. Any kids past the age of 16 would go to Wyndham House.”
“You had 30 days to get a place or they’d show you the door,” she said.
“Now everybody’s realized it sometimes takes longer than 30 days to find a place. So they’ve changed it; there is no restriction on how long you can stay. They keep families together, which I love. That’s why I was kind of nervous to go to the shelter, because I didn’t know there was a new system until I got here.
“A lot of people don’t go into the shelter system because, yes, 23 Gordon is the typical shelter that people remember, but people don’t realize there are ones for families that don’t have drugs, that don’t have crime. They’re more family appropriate.”
Couples can also stay together at 128 Norfolk, where pets are allowed in designated rooms.
“Everybody’s stuck on the old system. Sister Christine had an amazing system,” Tysiac said. “She had the non-judgemental system, where she would accept you as you are. They would put everybody together.
“It was good. But it was difficult at the same time."
She added people shouldn’t believe all the rumours they hear either. For instance, someone told her not to go to the Highway 6 shelter because it had bedbugs.
“That was just a misconception,” she said. “They say believe half of what you hear and half of what you see.
“People don’t realize 23 Gordon is just the beginning. Just because 23 Gordon looks the way it does doesn’t mean the rest of the buildings do.”
“None of us do drugs, none of us drink. Half of us don’t even smoke cigarettes,” Tysiac continued. “We’re just stuck in a rut.”
The rules are different in the family shelters as well. While many have expressed concern about people being removed from 23 Gordon and 128 Norfolk, it takes extreme circumstances for a family or a member of a family to be removed.
“One thing that happens at the other sites that does not ever happen – families are never discharged without a place to go,” Harvey said. "The staff always work to build a safe plan for everybody, even when there’s a conflict that hasn’t been successfully resolved.
“I’ve never met anybody that’s been kicked out (of the family shelter),” Tysiac said.
The Highway 6 shelter does not allow pets. While she was staying there, a friend who was watching her dog couldn't do it anymore, and dropped the dog off.
“Part of the rules are no animals on the property, so I could have easily been discharged,” she said. “But the staff worked with me to get somewhere else to put her.
“If they have to kick out a family, then it becomes a shit show. And they try to avoid that shit show. Instead, they support you through your rough time.
“The first month of being in the shelter system was the rockiest month I’ve ever had in my life. It was just one problem after another, and the staff supported me through the whole thing.”
She said the shelter system overall needs more government funding to meet the needs of the community.
If given more funding, she said she’d like to see more supports, more trauma-informed and mental health training for staff and more staffing overall, including longer hours (including holidays) for the homelessness prevention and diversion line.
Since the area has seen such an increase in family homelessness, Harvey said CMHA has offered to provide training for staff who might not have the training to work with families already.
“They’re in the process of providing that training right now, which hopefully increases the capacity of staff to support families.”
“It’s hard. I wanted to be home before Christmas,” Tysiac said tearfully. “I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to be in the shelter system for over a year.”
