Vanessa Dreyer was constantly wondering what she'd done wrong.
With a loved one grappling with severe mental health issues, she couldn't help but feel she should be doing more to ease the pain.
Eventually, the stress caught up with her.
"When you're dealing with a family member that's struggling, it's only a matter of time before you have your own issues," said Dreyer, who lives in Rockwood.
"I now have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."
From having to routinely leave work to be there for her loved one to the continuous worrying, it was all-consuming.
Combined with the fact there's still a stigma associated with mental health, suffering in silence became the norm.
"There was a lot of shame, guilt and so much stigma around mental, that's what I found the most challenging," Dreyer said.
"I think a lot of women take on that caregiver role. I wanted to be strong for my loved ones but I can't be any good to them if I’m falling apart myself."
It was when she made that realization she decided to seek help.
Through a combination or medication, counselling and participating in activities she enjoys like yoga and being in nature, Dreyer feels better equipped to deal with not only her own mental health but also for the ones she loves.
"Getting my own individual support and learning skills to manage self regulation," she said of the things she's come to understand.
"When I have to deal with my loved one she can get escalated quickly, so I need the skills to pause and be in the moment."
Dreyer's experience is one of many, especially among women.
According to the Canadian Mental Health Association, nearly a quarter of women don't access help because they're unsure where to get it. This, despite 47 per cent being considered high risk for developing mental health disorders compared to 36 per cent of men.
The statistics only reinforce the firsthand experience Helen Fishburn has had as the Chief Executive Officer of the Canadian Mental Health Association of Waterloo Wellington.
"We know women end up carrying a lot of the stress and pressures and many women are juggling jobs outside of the home, while doing a lot of the coordinating inside the home," Fishburn said.
"Women with young children and caregivers are feeling exhausted and depleted, which comes with consequences for physical and mental health. When you put it all together, it's important for women to be in tune with what their body and mind is telling them."
But it doesn't always happen, as Fishburn said many women wait too long to seek help or feel as though they can manage it by themselves.
It's part of what made last weekend's Shoppers Drug Mart Run for Women at Conestoga College's Doon campus important.
The event raised over $174,000 for CMHA Waterloo Wellington programs in 2023.
Every dollar stays local, Fishburn said, with it supporting women in crisis, those with eating disorders and individuals in early need of psychosis support.
Just as important as the money raised, the run gathers like-minded people hoping to end the stigma around mental health for good.
It's all part of CMHA Waterloo Wellington's Mental Health Week and the theme of "a call to be kind," a slogan Fishburn hopes people take to heart.
"We continue to have a tremendous amount of stress and anxiety in the community with housing, affordability and political division," she said.
"The theme isn't a coincidence and we encourage people to be kind all the time."
